I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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