In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
