I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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