I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
as a side note pls kill me
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
