we have pet lesbian snakes
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
