i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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