Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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