wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
