that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
