thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize