Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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