I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
