put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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