drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
