The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just blew my weed a kiss
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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