I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
