I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
