Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
