can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
