i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
