I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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