went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
