New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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