I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
