my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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