Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
