Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I wear drunk well.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
