I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
