Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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