Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
