I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
