sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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