So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
