im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
