i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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