ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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