Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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