just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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