He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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