I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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