the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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