Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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