My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
