About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
