I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
