She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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