i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
