I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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