batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I have post one night stand depression
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
