I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
