could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
