There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
