The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
