Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
