Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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