Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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