WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
