I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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