he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
