No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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